Current mood:	thoughtful
Entry tags:	spn

I got my Baby back! Woot! Rental car turned in, my baby is all fixed from the minor damage of that rear-ending from Mr. Distracted, and it's all good. I can't believe that's the first accident she's ever been in. Thank goodness it was minor, but it's still a bit of a statistical miracle. I've had her since '98, after all.

Been thinking quite a bit on one Sam Winchester, and I'm sorta circling back to something from earlier this season.

I've voiced a fair amount of criticism of Sam's choices about his lying, sneaking around, demon BFF and blood drinking. And I haven't really talked much about the positives that are still there inside him and what he's trying to accomplish. This doesn't mean that I hate Sam, but yes, I do think he's a lot more in the wrong than the right.

HOWEVER.

Another factor at play here, not just for me, I suspect, but possibly many out there in fandom, is the story of Sam we're seeing this year. And I'm realizing that what we seem to be getting is A Tale of Two Sams.

This is not a contradiction of his character, or a play of inconsistencies, but rather a play on perspectives. "It's all how you look at it", right?

Are You There, God... (4.02) ostensibly was about Dean. But it's also about Sam, and the blueprint for where his head's been at this year.

Ghost!Meg laid out both perspectives. Twisted and rabid though her attacks on the boys may have been, she was one of the "Rising of the Witnesses", and she did indeed bear witness on choices made and damages suffered.

You know how little siblings are, right? How they'll do anything for you. She was never the same after I disappeared. She just... she just got lost. And when my body was lying in the morgue. Beat up. Broken... Do you know what that did to her? She killed herself!


You saw how I suffered for months. I thought, you must have learned something. I thought I died for something.... But what you're doing with that demon, Ruby... How many innocent bodies has Ruby burned through for kicks? How many girls just like me? And you don't send her back to hell? You're a monster!

So there we have it. Sam No. 1. Broken and lost. Killing himself slowly because he just couldn't really recover from his brother's death.

And there's the other Sam. What he's doing with that demon, Ruby...

One is sympathetic. One not so much.

I think that's why I have such mixed feelings about the guy at present. Because both of these perspectives are true. He's damaged and lost. And yet he should know better. I wonder if the suicide or monster is going to win out. I'm betting on one thing being the X factor in the end -- Dean. Maybe there's still a door No. 3 to be taken. Because unlike Meg, Dean didn't stay dead.